So I start my training for my second job on Monday... I'm excited for the idea of having more money so that I can really start taking care of my debt so I the idea of getting a car or saving to buy a house won't be just dreaming. Although I fear that I'll lose my free time, my me time. The time I get during my week to forget everything else and just do the things I want to. Especially since my job is burning me out more and more because I'm just tired of doing the same thing everyday. I guess though if I can make enough money than I can pay off my debts and get a decent computer and afford design software so I can refine my creative design skills. Then I might be able to amp up my creative portfolio and either do some free-lance work or start working for a company doing things that I really enjoy. Don't get me wrong, in my current job I love the part that I get to help people. What I don't like is feeling like I'm the bottom of the totem pole and not being appreciated or respected. Granted I will probably feel that way no matter what position I am in unless I become some one's boss. I did that once and it wasn't so bad but, then I just keep getting confronted with my largest flaw, I'm too nice. Yes being too nice is a flaw and it's also probably why I feel trapped at my current job.
Even if I did find another job I feel like I wouldn't be able to just put in my two weeks and peace out. It would take months to find and train another person to even just understand the surface of what to do. I suppose though if I keep getting treated the way I do then they will just give me ever reason I need to leave. I'm a college graduate, I have a degree, and I was on the Dean's list my last 3 semesters of college. I'm smart and talented. I quit my last job because I felt that if I went to college than I should be doing a job that requires a college education, not a job you could get as a high school student. But some how I'm still in a job where any responsible adult could handle, college degree or not.
The worst part is, there isn't much I can do about it right now. I need the money and there are hardly any good paying entry level positions these days. Everyone wants someone with experience and I can't get experience if no one else will hire me. Or the positions that are out there are purely sale based and I can't sell something to save my life.
All this talk is starting to be to depressing. I'll start my second job, make enough money to pay off my debt, get that decent computer and design software, create an impressive portfolio, and start pursuing the career that I went to college for, a creative designer for advertising (if something else hasn't come along that I find that I love doing). Until then, all I can do is take one day at a time and strive to be in a better spot than I am now a year from now. So I guess wish me luck as a start my second job and hope that my sanity stays in tact :)
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