End of 2011

Ok so I know that everyone does the end-of-the-year reflections but I feel like this year I can look back at the year and for the first time since I was probably 15, I can look back and not feel horrible for something that I had done or feel sad about how something changed or turned out. Wow since I was 15... is that sad or what. That's 8 New Year's.  A lot of the things I did though brought me here and made me who I am so, for the most part I have to look at them as lessons, not regrets.  I used to be proud to say that I didn't have any regrets but, looking back, there is one thing that I do regret.  Something that I thought I could eventually forgive myself for and forget about it.  But unfortunately it will be something that I will always carry around with me. And it's sad that in this moment, of finally being able to look back at this year, 2011, and feel happy,  I have just now finally realized that I do regret it.  That's big.  But maybe knowing that I do regret something, I can just live that much more diligently trying to make sure I don't regret anything else.  So is the thing I regret doing really a regret or is it just another one of life's lessons?

It's funny because I started this blog with the intention of reflecting back on 2011 and be able to report that nothing absolutely horrible happened.  Instead of titling this blog "End of 2011" it should be title "Lessons or Regrets".  But that would mean my intention of this blog would have been to come out and talk about my lessons and regret and it wasn't.  It just sort of happened.  I've sort have lost everything I was going to reflect about now.  I think I've just blown myself away.  I must say though that I am extremely grateful for all the great things, no matter how small, that happened in 2011.  I know that sometimes I felt like I might not make it and it would've been easy to mope around and claim defeat but with great optimism and faith, I have survived another year of this crazy thing called life.   I hope that you have all had a great year as well.  And even though year end reflections can be kind of overdone, you might be surprised what you discover.

Happy New Year,
See ya in 2012!