It has been to long time since I've graced my blog with my presence Sorry about that. I feel like my mind is always racing with these crazy ideas but then when I get to this space, they've all raced away. Lately I feel like I'm waiting for my life to happen and every time I try to get something going in my life, I fail miserably and am stuck 2 steps back from where I started. so I just sit here and wait, and wait, and wait.
I have the urge to run away today. Just run away from all the stresses of work, all the worries of money, and all the pressures of society. So because I don't have the means or finances to run away, I've mapped out a 3.1 mile run for this evening. I've only ever run about 1.75 without having to stop so I guess we will see how it goes.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Monday, March 11, 2013
Random Tangent
I have been itching to make another post but not really sure what to write about. So I'll just go off of my initial premise of the blog, "A Blank Page", just typing and letting my mind take me where ever it takes me... All I'm coming up with is how I think the words "at least" and "a lot" should be one word. I find that I do that a lot. Also for what ever reason I keep accidentally using " instead of ' when making abbreviations. I don't know why but its really getting on my nerves because I feel I type fairly well.
Ok so you don't want to read about my rantings about typing.... I suppose if blogging were easy everyone would do it. Some even make it a career. I would like that if I had more ideas to write about. But sometimes I feel like the subjects I think I should write about, others wouldn't enjoy. Or they would read but then afterwards feel like they just wasted 10 minutes of their life reading through a garbage post.
I used to write in my notebooks all the time when I couldn't pay attention in class because I had something on my mind. It always seemed to help get it out of my head and on paper. Sometimes I'll come across an old notebook with random pages written on, and read what was on my mind that day. Random pages is always key because if someone found your book they would usually only look at the end or the beginning. Sometimes I would read an entry and think "wow, I really was crazy." Other ones I would laugh and some I would even fill sad for the past me. Which is kind of ridiculous because whatever it was, I already went through it. Why in the heck would I make myself feel that again. But it does remind me of where I've been and how far I've come. So that part is helpful.
I guess if you can take anything away from this, if you feel you ever have some things on your mind that you can't talk about with someone, just write it down. After you write it down, don't re-read it, just close the notebook or put away the paper. Don't throw it away just yet, it could help you later down the road. Also if you just throw it away it might give you a negative feeling. It doesn't have to be in perfect handwriting or grammatically correct. Just get all of those thoughts on paper. Who knows, maybe as you're writing you'll come up with an answer or a solution that you wouldn't have thought of before.
Ok so you don't want to read about my rantings about typing.... I suppose if blogging were easy everyone would do it. Some even make it a career. I would like that if I had more ideas to write about. But sometimes I feel like the subjects I think I should write about, others wouldn't enjoy. Or they would read but then afterwards feel like they just wasted 10 minutes of their life reading through a garbage post.
I used to write in my notebooks all the time when I couldn't pay attention in class because I had something on my mind. It always seemed to help get it out of my head and on paper. Sometimes I'll come across an old notebook with random pages written on, and read what was on my mind that day. Random pages is always key because if someone found your book they would usually only look at the end or the beginning. Sometimes I would read an entry and think "wow, I really was crazy." Other ones I would laugh and some I would even fill sad for the past me. Which is kind of ridiculous because whatever it was, I already went through it. Why in the heck would I make myself feel that again. But it does remind me of where I've been and how far I've come. So that part is helpful.
I guess if you can take anything away from this, if you feel you ever have some things on your mind that you can't talk about with someone, just write it down. After you write it down, don't re-read it, just close the notebook or put away the paper. Don't throw it away just yet, it could help you later down the road. Also if you just throw it away it might give you a negative feeling. It doesn't have to be in perfect handwriting or grammatically correct. Just get all of those thoughts on paper. Who knows, maybe as you're writing you'll come up with an answer or a solution that you wouldn't have thought of before.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
My Valentine's Day History
So in honor of the upcoming (faux) holiday, I thought I would take a look back at my history of Valentine's Days. It all started in 2002. I just had my first kiss the January before. But the guy I was dating at the time decided that he would break up with me on Feb 2nd. 2/2/2002 to be exact, which started my hatred of the number 2 but that's a story for another day. So although I thought that was going to be my first Valentine's Day that I celebrated with a significant other, it was not. Later that year, I moved to another school and started dating a guy that fall. So in February of 2003, I got to celebrate my first Valentine's day with a boy (imagine little-high-school-girl giggle here).
The guy that I had my "first Valentine's" with, I dated for almost 5 year so there were lots of V-days in there. I do know that on my first one I got a teddy bear that he had sprayed with his cologne and a card (and some flowers?) The first and second get mixed up. On one of them I made him a 2 layered, heart shaped, german chocolate cake with the coconut frosting because that was his favorite dessert. I brought it to school with me to surprise him with it. That was disaster. He had to leave school early to go to a wrestling meet and couldn't take it with him because it would have been a mess and it he couldn't eat it because he had to "make weight". I don't remember what I ended up doing with it, I just remember that I was extremely embarrassed and crushed that I went through all the effort to make him, what I thought was a thoughtful gift, to be essentially turned down.
The other V-days I spent with him all kind of blend together. But I did some mild digging through my boxes of old stuff and 2005 Valentines day he was going to college down in KS and I was still in high school. I don't remember what happened but, there is a sad face :( on that day in my planner. So I'm going to guess that it didn't end well. In 2006 we both would have been in Kearney going to school. I found a planner for this year and apparently we "broke up" on 2/9 that year. I'm not sure when we got back together but I know we were back together mid March. I don't remember what happened in 2007. But apparently nothing spectacular happened because I can't remember them. I'm sure back then I could tell you exactly what happened.
In 2008, I believe I was single. In 2009, I was "seeing" a guy but we just went out for dinner a couple days before or a couple of days after. I think it was at that dinner that we both realized we didn't have much in common. The February of 2010 may very well be my last "single" Valentines Day. I believe I spent that one getting annihilated off of a mixed drink recipe I threw together called "Love Potion". But as I recall, it was a pretty awesome night.
In February 2011 I celebrated my first Valentine's Day with my current boyfriend. It also happened to be our 6 month anniversary. He got me a dozen red roses that were delivered to me at work and then we went out to Red Lobster for dinner. He got there early so that he could put our names on the list because it was over an hour wait. I remember walking up to the restaurant and seeing him standing there in his suit jacket and button up shirt. He was so handsome, he literally took my breath away. We were planning on seeing a movie after word but with how long everything took, we just ended up postponing that part of the date. Our second Valentine's Day he had another dozen roses delivered to me at work but this time they were beautifully multi-colored roses. Then for dinner we decided to skip the long waits at the restaurants and stay at home. We made lasagna together, chocolate covered strawberries for dessert and a bottle of champagne we had left over from New Years Eve. We even ate most of it by candlelight. It was a very romantic evening.
Now it's our third Valentine's together and I feel like a kid the day before Christmas. I don't even care what he gets me. I'm just so excited knowing that tomorrow night we get to have a night where we cook a special dinner together. And looking back at all the crumby valentine's days that I have had and it just makes me that much more grateful that I have such a loving man in my life.
So to those of you out there that are single, I suggest searching for a fun drink you can mix and get drunk off of, getting a group of single friends together and play some good ol' fashion drinking games. You'll get the sweet sappy Valentine's Day another year. To those of you who are in a relationship, I hope yours is filled with love and happiness. Just don't forget to continue the trend throughout the year :)
The guy that I had my "first Valentine's" with, I dated for almost 5 year so there were lots of V-days in there. I do know that on my first one I got a teddy bear that he had sprayed with his cologne and a card (and some flowers?) The first and second get mixed up. On one of them I made him a 2 layered, heart shaped, german chocolate cake with the coconut frosting because that was his favorite dessert. I brought it to school with me to surprise him with it. That was disaster. He had to leave school early to go to a wrestling meet and couldn't take it with him because it would have been a mess and it he couldn't eat it because he had to "make weight". I don't remember what I ended up doing with it, I just remember that I was extremely embarrassed and crushed that I went through all the effort to make him, what I thought was a thoughtful gift, to be essentially turned down.
The other V-days I spent with him all kind of blend together. But I did some mild digging through my boxes of old stuff and 2005 Valentines day he was going to college down in KS and I was still in high school. I don't remember what happened but, there is a sad face :( on that day in my planner. So I'm going to guess that it didn't end well. In 2006 we both would have been in Kearney going to school. I found a planner for this year and apparently we "broke up" on 2/9 that year. I'm not sure when we got back together but I know we were back together mid March. I don't remember what happened in 2007. But apparently nothing spectacular happened because I can't remember them. I'm sure back then I could tell you exactly what happened.
In 2008, I believe I was single. In 2009, I was "seeing" a guy but we just went out for dinner a couple days before or a couple of days after. I think it was at that dinner that we both realized we didn't have much in common. The February of 2010 may very well be my last "single" Valentines Day. I believe I spent that one getting annihilated off of a mixed drink recipe I threw together called "Love Potion". But as I recall, it was a pretty awesome night.
In February 2011 I celebrated my first Valentine's Day with my current boyfriend. It also happened to be our 6 month anniversary. He got me a dozen red roses that were delivered to me at work and then we went out to Red Lobster for dinner. He got there early so that he could put our names on the list because it was over an hour wait. I remember walking up to the restaurant and seeing him standing there in his suit jacket and button up shirt. He was so handsome, he literally took my breath away. We were planning on seeing a movie after word but with how long everything took, we just ended up postponing that part of the date. Our second Valentine's Day he had another dozen roses delivered to me at work but this time they were beautifully multi-colored roses. Then for dinner we decided to skip the long waits at the restaurants and stay at home. We made lasagna together, chocolate covered strawberries for dessert and a bottle of champagne we had left over from New Years Eve. We even ate most of it by candlelight. It was a very romantic evening.
Now it's our third Valentine's together and I feel like a kid the day before Christmas. I don't even care what he gets me. I'm just so excited knowing that tomorrow night we get to have a night where we cook a special dinner together. And looking back at all the crumby valentine's days that I have had and it just makes me that much more grateful that I have such a loving man in my life.
So to those of you out there that are single, I suggest searching for a fun drink you can mix and get drunk off of, getting a group of single friends together and play some good ol' fashion drinking games. You'll get the sweet sappy Valentine's Day another year. To those of you who are in a relationship, I hope yours is filled with love and happiness. Just don't forget to continue the trend throughout the year :)
Monday, January 21, 2013
Blast from the past
I've always heard this expression but never really understood it until the other day. I was in a store and I saw someone from my past, it took me completely off guard, it was if I had been blasted right back to my past where I once knew this person. I never got to know this person very well but I immediately started to thinking about how they were doing, did they have kids, what were they doing in Lincoln, did they live here? Then I started thinking about her family and how they were doing. Then it my mind took a trip to where I was in my life when I met her and all the things I had been through since. It felt like I went back years in my mind and contemplated every decision I've made since we met. I feel that this is a very short description compared to what my mind went through that day. It was crazy! Even though I didn't say anything to her, I was definitely blasted by the past.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
One Year!
I was just making a post over on my song page when I realized the first post I did on that page was at the end of December. I then thought to myself "Huh, that's almost a year ago, I should definitely make a post at my one year mark"...... Well I missed it :( My very first post was on 11/28/2011. I guess instead of being sad about it I should just continue on with my, spur of the moment, "One Year" post.
I realized that I have not being blogging nearly as much as I had hoped I would. I really wish I could blame it on how busy my life has been but, my life really hasn't been that busy. At the beginning of this year I had a second job, now I don't. Then I moved to a new apartment. My sister came home for a brief bit after she graduated from TBS in North Carolina. I got to see Def Leppard, Poison, and Barenaked Ladies in concert I turned 25. My little sister turned 21. I went out to California to visit my sister. I made my first turkey and hosted a potluck Thanksgiving dinner. I think that brings us to present day. Looking back on the year there is really only one thing I wish I would have done. I wish I would have made a bigger deal about my 25th birthday. It was mid October when I thought to myself, "I should really do something awesome for my 25th birthday." Then I realized that I was about 2 months too late for that idea. Don't get me wrong, I had a great birthday but, it was much like my 24th birthday. I then told myself that "O well, I'll just party twice as hard next year." But at the same time, why should I celebrate when that next birthday means I'm no longer in my early 20s. I would then be in my upper 20s and that much closer to the dreaded 30. (I made a very disgusted face as typed that). I just have to keep telling myself that 30 can't be that bad.....right?
Anyway, I know that you'll probably read lots of "end-of-the-year reflections" and I guess that's what my "One Year" post kind of turned into. But for all of you that do read my sparse blog, "THANK YOU!" Thank you for reading and sticking around, I will try to keep with it and do it better :)
I realized that I have not being blogging nearly as much as I had hoped I would. I really wish I could blame it on how busy my life has been but, my life really hasn't been that busy. At the beginning of this year I had a second job, now I don't. Then I moved to a new apartment. My sister came home for a brief bit after she graduated from TBS in North Carolina. I got to see Def Leppard, Poison, and Barenaked Ladies in concert I turned 25. My little sister turned 21. I went out to California to visit my sister. I made my first turkey and hosted a potluck Thanksgiving dinner. I think that brings us to present day. Looking back on the year there is really only one thing I wish I would have done. I wish I would have made a bigger deal about my 25th birthday. It was mid October when I thought to myself, "I should really do something awesome for my 25th birthday." Then I realized that I was about 2 months too late for that idea. Don't get me wrong, I had a great birthday but, it was much like my 24th birthday. I then told myself that "O well, I'll just party twice as hard next year." But at the same time, why should I celebrate when that next birthday means I'm no longer in my early 20s. I would then be in my upper 20s and that much closer to the dreaded 30. (I made a very disgusted face as typed that). I just have to keep telling myself that 30 can't be that bad.....right?
Anyway, I know that you'll probably read lots of "end-of-the-year reflections" and I guess that's what my "One Year" post kind of turned into. But for all of you that do read my sparse blog, "THANK YOU!" Thank you for reading and sticking around, I will try to keep with it and do it better :)
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Lovely airport internet
Sooo, I'm waiting for my flight from Phoenix to Orange County CA and the internet is too slow to do much of anything. And since I have about 3 hours until my flight, I thought, hey why not blog. There are lots of things I could probably blog about while sitting at the airport. The non-stop people watching capabilities, the security checkpoints, the high priced food.... There is such an abundance of people watching, I can't stay focused for very long on a certain person and/or group. The security really wasn't that bad and the high priced food... well it was to be expected.
How about we talk about my fear of flying. There are those people who are afraid that they are going to die in a plane crash. Then there are those people who are afraid of the very tight spaces. My fear includes both of these and another part. I am also afraid of getting sick on the airplane. My very first flight I had to make use of those lovely bags they provide you with. The second time I flew was over seas to Italy, I had my trusty motion sickness medicine. Not only did this help with the motion sickness but it also knocked me out so I wasn't even able to think about the other two things. The only problem with motion sickness medicine is even though it says "non-drowsy" it can still put you to sleep. Which isn't a problem if you're traveling with people. But if I'm traveling by myself, which I am, its hard for me to trust that I will be alert for any messages that would pertain to me.
The only thing good about flying is you get that faster. No long drives or having to drive until all hours of the night. Just jump on a plane and get there a matter of hours (that is if your flights are on time). Currently, the flight that I am waiting for is suppose to take off in about an hour. It has been delayed so now I have about a 3 hour wait... Another thing I dislike about airports. If you are suppose to leave at a certain time and get somewhere at a certain time, why doesn't it always happen that way. I'm sure there are lost of things that can happen to cause a flight to delay but, how long have we been utilizing airplanes and the airport transit system? You would think by now we would have backup plans or planes.
I should stop complaining but, now I'm stuck in this airport until my plane shows up, with a horrible internet connection and all of this delicious smelling food that is too expensive to justify the purchase. I have this blog post to keep me busy, for about...30 minutes. I guess I'll just keep trying to get my internet to move faster.
Thanks for listening to my bored rantings. Happy Thanksgiving!
How about we talk about my fear of flying. There are those people who are afraid that they are going to die in a plane crash. Then there are those people who are afraid of the very tight spaces. My fear includes both of these and another part. I am also afraid of getting sick on the airplane. My very first flight I had to make use of those lovely bags they provide you with. The second time I flew was over seas to Italy, I had my trusty motion sickness medicine. Not only did this help with the motion sickness but it also knocked me out so I wasn't even able to think about the other two things. The only problem with motion sickness medicine is even though it says "non-drowsy" it can still put you to sleep. Which isn't a problem if you're traveling with people. But if I'm traveling by myself, which I am, its hard for me to trust that I will be alert for any messages that would pertain to me.
The only thing good about flying is you get that faster. No long drives or having to drive until all hours of the night. Just jump on a plane and get there a matter of hours (that is if your flights are on time). Currently, the flight that I am waiting for is suppose to take off in about an hour. It has been delayed so now I have about a 3 hour wait... Another thing I dislike about airports. If you are suppose to leave at a certain time and get somewhere at a certain time, why doesn't it always happen that way. I'm sure there are lost of things that can happen to cause a flight to delay but, how long have we been utilizing airplanes and the airport transit system? You would think by now we would have backup plans or planes.
I should stop complaining but, now I'm stuck in this airport until my plane shows up, with a horrible internet connection and all of this delicious smelling food that is too expensive to justify the purchase. I have this blog post to keep me busy, for about...30 minutes. I guess I'll just keep trying to get my internet to move faster.
Thanks for listening to my bored rantings. Happy Thanksgiving!
Friday, July 27, 2012
This song reminds me of...
Isn't great how a simple song or melody can take you back. When it happens, it doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing but it can stop you in your tracks. It happens to me often but, thankfully they are usually fun and/or ridiculous memories that will make me give a quick smile or a small chuckle. Then there are those memories that make you smile and shake you're head because it reminds you of those times when you were young and dumb. Unfortunately there are those that creep up every once in a while that you wish you could undo, take back, correct. After some reflection, those you try to put in a dark corner to try and forget about.
But that's all I wanted to say was how great memories are and how pleasant it is when a song or moment can take you back to a happy one.
But that's all I wanted to say was how great memories are and how pleasant it is when a song or moment can take you back to a happy one.
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